This past week, it was reported that a neutrino from a supermassive black hole was detected in Antarctica. Contributing writer Sergei was going to interview the black hole, but he has been indicted. As such, I took this lovely opportunity to pick up the slack and speak to black hole (“Black”) about its intentions:
Winston: How far away are you from our solar system?
Black: About 3.7 billion light years away.
Winston: Do you have internet connection that far out.
Black: Yes, Time Warner has a new service for holes.
Winston: What is a neutrino?
Black: A ghost like particle that travels almost the speed of light, normally emanated from the sun. But this one was from me.
Winston: Some neutrino can’t make it up stream. How strong is yours?
Black: So strong. Thanks to, Tony Robbins, I got mine up to 300 trillion electron volts.
Winston: When you sent your neutrino down onto Antarctica, what was your intention?
Black: I’m still single and want to have a procreate before I go.
Winston: Did you propose?
Black: That was my proposal.
Winston: No ring?
Black: I’m, like, progressive. LOL!
Winston: And if the answer is no?
Black hole teared up.
Black: I’ll wear protection next time. I’ll be more careful next time.