This past week, my country totally beat Germany in the World Cup. How did they do it? According to an Independent article, my country men exposed “their full-backs” and “tied down” one of the German players. To get more insight into Mexican strategy, I interviewed Maximillian Sanchez, a chief soccer “strategist” and also a family member who plays a banker in the novella Bon Voyage Vietnam, due out August.
Poncho: So, tell me max, why do they call you “Money Max”?
Max: Cause I know how to expose German full-backs.
Poncho: Like, when they are sleeping?
Max: Not really. Cause they usually are smiling when they get exposed.
Poncho: And that was your strategy to beat Germany?
Max: Ah, man, we beat them so good.
Poncho: Did you do the beating?
Max: What do I look like? A prop in a Beat It video for Michael Jackson?
Poncho: Yeah, you right.
Max: We outsourced it.
Poncho: The beating?
Max: Nah, the tying down.
Poncho: Did you use rope?
Max: For boring gringos. We used fine hemp mixed in with some organic tea tree oil, mixed with fine Chanel No. 5, and Beethoven in the background.
Poncho: Fair trade hemp?
Max: What you think? These Germans would accept nothing else. So high maintenance.
Poncho: But you won.
Max: Yeah, but I don’t know if the hemp going to work on the Swedish.
Poncho: Why not?
Max: Cause they already got Ikea with them Swedish meta-balls.
Max: Those too.