Quality FilthInterviewsSister Amber M. Francis-InterviewsExtraterrestrial: “Like, you’re totally not alone.”
Extraterrestrial: “Like, you’re totally not alone.”

Extraterrestrial: “Like, you’re totally not alone.”

This past week, NASA announced that on April 16 it be launching the Big Transiting Expo Planet Boring Survey Satellite, or “TESS,” to take up residence between the earth and the moon to answer on big question: are we alone? To get more input on this, I interviewed George Ricker, and M.I.T. researcher and leader of the TESS.

Amber: So, George, are the aliens pissed that you are squatting on their space?

George: So pissed.

Amber: How do you know?

George: We got an eviction notice on the TESS spaceship.

Amber: Already – W . . . T . . . F? Even before it left?

George: Tell me about it. It was from a law firm – Asteroid & Meteor LLP.

Amber: Never heard of them.

He pulled the notice out.

George: Yeah, their address is in South Boston.

Amber: So what did the eviction notice say?

George: “Dear Earthling, your spaceship sucks. If you are going to have to have this piece of junk in backyard, please remit appropriate rent via Pay Pal to alien@asteroidmeteor.com. Why couldn’t you get Frank Gehry to design it? Well, whatever, just to let you know, um, yeah, like, you’re totally not alone.”

Amber: Is that all?

George: No. They also included a box of Snicker’s bars. It read: “P.S. No hard feelings.”

Amber: So we aren’t alone?

He shrugged.

George: Maybe we aren’t, or maybe it was the janitor who’s messing with us.

Amber: Maybe he’s an alien?

George: Nah, just from South Boston.

Amber: Same thing.

About the author

Sister Amber Francis

Catholic Nun/Closet Witch/Stylist/Retired Hell Raiser