Satirical Crime Thrillers

Unlikely heroes who keep you second guessing their motives, and their hygiene habits, until the final second.

Quality FilthSatirical Crime Thrillers

Coming out on October 31st!

Bon Voyage Vietnam (2018)

Blake Stimson bought the world’s most expensive wedding rings. In the summer of 1969, Blake stands on the altar. He makes a shocking discovery. The rings have been stolen. Who did it?

Ella Gordon’s suspecting eyes peer down from the altar onto Mickey Egan, Jr., her best friend. While she glares at him, Mickey nonchalantly thinks back to the first time he saw Blake and Ella together. Mickey knew there was something fake about Blake. Afterwards, anonymous leaks to Ella slowly expose awful secrets about Blake. But Ella’s “love” for him blinds her to these red flags and only grows stronger.

On the day of the wedding, Ella discovers the ring bandit’s identity. She must then decide: is the theft a sign that her love for Blake has been a terrible mirage?

Available Now

Confessions of Quiet Winners (2017)

World War III is minutes away. Two boyhood friends from Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, supposedly have a plan to prevent it. One is now an American spy, and the other is Russian. A few minutes before the first missile is shot, the President of the United States makes a shocking discovery. Does it show the Brighton boys are dangerous losers who made the global holocaust inevitable, or quiet winners that miraculously prevented it? Here is a review from an Amazon reader, and he wasn’t a robot: “Such a fun ride! The characters are uniquely their own and the plot kept unfolding in very cool ways I just didn’t see coming (thank you!). References about one thing and another came from a diverse universe. I love that. Truly inventive story telling, I had a ball reading it.”



The Naïve Daring of Outsiders
The Naïve Daring of Outsiders by Ryan E Long
The Naïve Daring of Outsiders (2016)

Nineteen Catholic priests in San Francisco suffer grisly murders or mysteriously disappear. After the first killings, Jasper Amos, an undercover police detective, investigates. He starts collecting incriminating evidence against two Catholic priests and a nun. To hang these alleged killers, the prosecution is going to rely on Jasper’s testimony. At the start of the trial, he desperately wants justice for the nineteen dead priests. Toward the middle of the trial in December of 1876, however, Jasper discovers terrible secrets. They make him question whether the three defendants are guilty. Will Jasper lie to save them from the death penalty?



Pirate in the Closet (2016)

Black lives don’t matter! Irish lives don’t matter! Father Shane Egan doesn’t think any lives matter. Why should he? He grew up in sinister South Boston. This explains why he has burglarized, tortured, or killed dozens. That’s what the government wants you to think. Omitted from Father Shane’s lengthy police file are eyewitness interviews. They suggest the murder victims terrorized Father Shane, who is also gay, and that someone else committed the barbaric crimes. The government doesn’t care. In Boston, Father Shane is indicted for first-degree murder. He flees to San Francisco and tries to hide from his checkered past as a Catholic priest. Is Father Shane a sinister pirate terrorizing innocents, or a love vigilante fighting against tyranny?



Pirate in the Closet
Pirate in the Closet by Ryan E Long
Angel of Salem
Angel of Salem by Ryan E Long
Angel of Salem (2016)

Amber Francis is a 16-year-old mass murderer from Salem, Massachusetts. That is what the government wants you to think. Nineteen men are found hung on trees outside her family’s circus. But the circus is a front for the Underground Railroad. The dead men were supposedly bounty hunters trying to recapture escaped slaves working at the circus. The government doesn’t care. Amber is indicted for the 19 murders. She flees and tries to hide out as a nun in a San Francisco Catholic Church. Is Amber a cold-blooded murderer or a freedom fighter? What are Amber’s family secrets in Salem and will they ruin her – or protect her from the evil that finds her in San Francisco?


Outsourced to Lucifer (2015)

The U.S. government calls him a terrorist. However, Blue Hardin was a loving and peaceful Quaker boy growing up in Illinois. While his grandparents fought in the American Revolution, nobody expected that Blue would graduate to the outlaw life. But all of us have our limits. After Blue is orphaned, the U.S. government kills his adoptive Native American family. When his foster parents abuse him, the local authorities ignore his pleas. Blue then invents his own brand of sinister justice. By twenty-three, Blue is the most wanted man in America. He flees to San Francisco and hides out as a Catholic priest. Is Blue a terrorist like they say, or an American patriot? Will his troubled past follow him to San Francisco, or will he discover even darker secrets there?


Outsourced to Lucifer
Outsourced to Lucifer by Ryan E Long
Dirty Quiet Money
Dirty Quiet Money by Ryan E Long
Dirty Quiet Money (2014)

Sophia is a blue-blooded blond from Louisiana plantation glamour. Jacky is a brutish janitor from the slums of Marseille. They both live in Paris and have shocking secrets. She is Jewish. He is a Mafia boss. In the Nazis, they have a powerful wicked enemy. By taking Jacky’s hand and fighting with him in the French Resistance, she and her son might be able to survive. However, will Jacky’s underworld make her question everything, and ruin her in the end?


Living on the Happy Edge of Anarchy (2013)

“Sex, money, & murder.” The words are tattooed on a cocaine cowboy’s arm. The cowboy is Jack Egan’s “cousin.” When Jack was 18, he’d often ask himself: is that all life is? One fateful night in L.A., Jack’s answer would change his life forever. Discover how shady Sicilians, an Amsterdam transvestite, and a Brooklyn street pharmacist helped Jack understand that life changing decision. These unsavory characters – plus savory ones – are brought to life in this satirical crime thriller, an Amazon top 3 new hot comedy release in 2013. If you let them, the most questionable of strangers can be your best friends. They can have better insights into your problems than your straight-laced friends. And, unlike a therapist who is on the clock, the stranger that fate puts in your path can call it like it is. Their seemingly rude objectivity can help you to better deal with your problems. The rest is up to you.


What Readers Say

As much as this book is entertaining and quite the fun read, it also had take away for me about life lessons, where you learn them and also who you listen to.


I couldn’t put it down until it was all gone. Funny and fantastically written. Can’t wait to read his future works…


I didn’t want the book to end and there is a wonderful element of surprise! A must read…

Betsy Karp

Get Yours Today

The above titles are available for purchase on Amazon.