Me: Have a martini, darling, and see why laughing is better than crying, except at your spouse’s funeral.

You: Thanks, yummy martini, but maybe I want to laugh at my spouse’s jazz funeral?

Me: In that case, read or listen to Quality Filth’s criminal satire.

You: It’s illegal?

Me: No, darling. All it is is fictional antiheroes from six satirical crime thriller novels or novellas who satirize political news on a weekly basis from the center.

You: So it’s not CNN?

Me: No, because Quality Filth is proud of its surreal fake news.

You: But Quality Filth isn’t Fox News, either?

Me: No, cause foxes are fast, tortoises are slow, and Quality Filth’s pace is slower than a retired Bronx grandmother swimming in South Beach.

So please enjoy listening to or reading this rubbish on Quality Filth. In the meantime, for a sleeper killer martini recipe, please e-mail me at wblack@qualityfilth.com.

Yours sort of truly,

Sir Winston Black

Contributing Writer

Butler/Budget Painter/Corporate Strategist/Legendary Spook