The President’s Pussy Cat . . .

The President’s Pussy Cat . . .

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This past week, it was reported that former FBI director James Comey was afraid to meet with President Donald Trump alone. To find out why, Quality Filth sent me to interview Sister Amber Francis, a Catholic nun in San Francisco who, according to a leaked CIA e-mail, is “a crazy psychic witch. But that’s why she’s hot.”

Ryan: Why do you think Mr. Comey was afraid to meet with President Trump alone?

Amber: I know why.

We sat in the middle of a pitch-black California forest with our eyes closed.

Ryan: Why?

Amber: It was because of the president’s pussy.

Ryan: Excuse me?

Amber: Yeah, he was afraid he’d be tempted to grab and pet the president’s pussy.

Ryan: Are we talking about the same president?

Amber: Yeah, the one with the black pussy.

Ryan: Black? How did that happen?

Amber: How do I know? He was made that way.

She passed me some peyote in the Nerds dispenser. I ate some.

Ryan: The president was made that way?

Amber: No, his pussy was.

Ryan: What’s the pussy’s name?

Amber: Rickles.

Ryan: As in Don Rickles?

Amber: Yeah.

Ryan: Why on earth would he name his pussy cat Don Rickles?

Amber: Oh, easy one.

Ryan: Try me.

Amber: Cause his pussycat is male, and he’s hilarious.

I opened my eyes and glared at the stunning humorous nun. She just sat at the fire with a big grin on her face. To learn more about Sister Francis, read the satirical crime thriller Angel of Salem, in which she is accused of running the Underground Railroad and hanging 19 bounty hunters, or The Naïve Daring of Outsiders, in which she is accused along with two priests of killing 19 Catholic priests in 1876 San Francisco. Both books for sale on Amazon, iTunes, and Barnes & Noble.

About the author

Sister Amber Francis

Catholic Nun/Closet Witch/Stylist/Retired Hell Raiser