Listen to the interview, and/or read along. (Editors: Since this interview was originally posted on July 8, 2017, the North Korean Muscle crisis has heated up, but the suggestion of how to quell it just as relevant. So we have affixed the title with “2.0.” Enjoy! Editorial Board.)
Mr. Kim Jong-Un launched an ICBM missile this past week, as reported by various news outlets. To get more insight into the significance of the ICBM, Quality Filth sent me to Paris to ask Mr. Jacky Bonaparte, an international nightclub mogul who also allegedly is investing in an underground nightclub in Pyongyang, called Le Chat Noir #69, about the launch.
Ryan: Word has it you are investing in a nightclub in Pyongyang?
We were in his Parisian nightclub. Models served us Blue coffee spiked with Kahlua.
Jacky: Some say I am invisible partner, so how would I know?
He offered me his skunk smelling cigarette. I Just Said No.
Ryan: What do you think of the ICBM launch?
He closed his eyes and took a draft off his Chesterfield cigarette.
Jacky: I have visions of the very big men.
He opened his eyes.
Ryan: Excuse me?
Jacky: This is the meaning of ICBM, non? “I C big men,” it would be like you want the woman but you stuck with gay friend in a boring muscle gay bar in Chelsea, frustrated.
I scratched my head.
Ryan: I don’t think “ICBM” means that.
He ignored me. One of the waitresses dropped off fresh New Orleans beignets.
Jacky: Mais, how many of the women good looking you see in North-South Korean border photos?
Jacky: And how many you see surrounding Monsieur Bono?
Ryan: You mean surrounding Mr. Kim Jong-un?
He dripped some of his cigarette ash into the black oyster ashtray as we ate the beignets.
Jacky: I call him Monsieur Bono.
Ryan: Cause he loves U2?
Jacky: Non, cause I am a super lazy man, lazy to remember anybody names, you see?.
Ryan: So you think all of the men at the border between North and South Korea are aggressive because they feel like they are stuck in a gay Jersey Shore muscle bar.
Jacky: Mais, it is not the complicated, cause if Giraffe Bunch.
Ryan: You mean Gisele?
Jacky: Si, this pretty woman, if she walking by, none of this military men notice.
Ryan: Why not?
Jacky: Cause they too busy with their Paisley Shore muscle flexing, eh?
Ryan: You mean Jersey Shore?
Jacky: What is difference, the sun feels the same if you wear paisley in Jersey, non?
Jacky: Eh, Giraffe flip them all off and take her pretty self to her Buffalo quarterback.
Ryan: No, he’s a Boston Patriot.
Jacky: Mais, what you try to say, a buffalo cannot be a patriot? You are this deplorable boy.
He shook his head in disgust. He grabbed my cup and held up both of ours for refills as he smiled at the too good for me waitress walking by. She smiled back at him, winking. Find out how Jacky “charms” Nazi and Vichy officers during World War II in the satirical crime thriller Dirty Quiet Money, in in which he is a Marseille born international Mafia Don, now for sale on Amazon, iTunes, and Barnes & Noble. Have a peachy weekend!