Satirical Crime Thrillers

Unlikely heroes who keep you second guessing their motives, and their hygiene habits, until the final second.

Quality FilthSatirical Crime Thrillers

Available Now

Confessions of Quiet Winners (2017)

World War III is minutes away. Two boyhood friends from Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, supposedly have a plan to prevent it. One is now an American spy, and the other is Russian.

A few minutes before the first missile is shot, the President of the United States makes a shocking discovery. Does it show the Brighton boys are dangerous losers who made the global holocaust inevitable, or quiet winners that miraculously prevented it?

Here is a review from an Amazon reader, and he wasn’t a robot: “Such a fun ride! The characters are uniquely their own and the plot kept unfolding in very cool ways I just didn’t see coming (thank you!). References about one thing and another came from a diverse universe. I love that. Truly inventive story telling, I had a ball reading it.”




The Naïve Daring of Outsiders
The Naïve Daring of Outsiders by Ryan E Long
The Naïve Daring of Outsiders (2016)

Nineteen Catholic priests in San Francisco suffer grisly murders or mysteriously disappear. After the first killings, Jasper Amos, an undercover police detective, investigates.

He starts collecting incriminating evidence against two Catholic priests and a nun. To hang these alleged killers, the prosecution is going to rely on Jasper’s testimony. At the start of the trial, he desperately wants justice for the nineteen dead priests.

Toward the middle of the trial in December of 1876, however, Jasper discovers terrible secrets. They make him question whether the three defendants are guilty.

Will Jasper lie to save them from the death penalty?



Pirate in the Closet (2016)

Black lives don’t matter! Irish lives don’t matter! Father Shane Egan doesn’t think any lives matter. Why should he? He grew up in sinister South Boston. This explains why he has burglarized, tortured, or killed dozens.

That’s what the government wants you to think.

Omitted from Father Shane’s lengthy police file are eyewitness interviews. They suggest the murder victims terrorized Father Shane, who is also gay, and that someone else committed the barbaric crimes. The government doesn’t care.

In Boston, Father Shane is indicted for first-degree murder. He flees to San Francisco and tries to hide from his checkered past as a Catholic priest. Is Father Shane a sinister pirate terrorizing innocents, or a love vigilante fighting against tyranny?



Pirate in the Closet
Pirate in the Closet by Ryan E Long
Angel of Salem
Angel of Salem by Ryan E Long
Angel of Salem (2016)

Amber Francis is a 16-year-old mass murderer from Salem, Massachusetts. That is what the government wants you to think. Nineteen men are found hung on trees outside her family’s circus.

But the circus is a front for the Underground Railroad. The dead men were supposedly bounty hunters trying to recapture escaped slaves working at the circus. The government doesn’t care.

 Amber is indicted for the 19 murders. She flees and tries to hide out as a nun in a San Francisco Catholic Church. Is Amber a cold-blooded murderer or a freedom fighter? What are Amber’s family secrets in Salem and will they ruin her – or protect her from the evil that finds her in San Francisco?


Outsourced to Lucifer (2015)

The U.S. government calls him a terrorist. However, Blue Hardin was a loving and peaceful Quaker boy growing up in Illinois. While his grandparents fought in the American Revolution, nobody expected that Blue would graduate to the outlaw life.

But all of us have our limits. After Blue is orphaned, the U.S. government kills his adoptive Native American family. When his foster parents abuse him, the local authorities ignore his pleas. Blue then invents his own brand of sinister justice.

By twenty-three, Blue is the most wanted man in America. He flees to San Francisco and hides out as a Catholic priest. Is Blue a terrorist like they say, or an American patriot? Will his troubled past follow him to San Francisco, or will he discover even darker secrets there?


Outsourced to Lucifer
Outsourced to Lucifer by Ryan E Long
Dirty Quiet Money
Dirty Quiet Money by Ryan E Long
Dirty Quiet Money (2014)

Sophia is a blue-blooded blond from Louisiana plantation glamour. Jacky is a brutish janitor from the slums of Marseille. They both live in Paris and have shocking secrets.

She is Jewish. He is a Mafia boss.

In the Nazis, they have a powerful wicked enemy. By taking Jacky’s hand and fighting with him in the French Resistance, she and her son might be able to survive.

However, will Jacky’s underworld make her question everything, and ruin her in the end? 


Living on the Happy Edge of Anarchy (2013)

What do shady Sicilians, an Amsterdam transvestite, a WW II photographer, a Mexican drug dealer, and a Holocaust survivor have in common? They served as catalysts for positive change in the author’s life. These characters – in addition to others – are brought to life in this unforgettable memoir.

But this book isn’t really about the author. It’s a messenger that delivers the lesson he learned: in the anarchy of life, strangers can sometimes be your best friends. Oftentimes, strangers have better insights into your problems than those who know you best. Strangers have nothing to lose at calling it like it is. Their blunt objectivity can help you to better understand your own problems and how to deal with them.

The rest is up to you.


Living on the Happy Edge of Anarchy
Living on the Happy Edge of Anarchy by Ryan E Long

What Readers Say

As much as this book is entertaining and quite the fun read, it also had take away for me about life lessons, where you learn them and also who you listen to.


I couldn’t put it down until it was all gone. Funny and fantastically written. Can’t wait to read his future works…


I didn’t want the book to end and there is a wonderful element of surprise! A must read…

Betsy Karp

Get Yours Today

The above titles are available for purchase on Amazon.